My niece, demdiva wrote a couple of diaries letting you all know the nature of my family's personal events of the past 10 days here and here. I read the first diary but not the second until last night. The best wishes, prayers and emails were greatly apprciated and brought back the emotion of the past couple of weeks. I was mostly too distraught to do anything other than be with family and my son as he struggled to live and we struggled to get through it. I tried very hard to keep the thoughts that we might lose him out of my mind but they managed to sneak in when I least expected it. When they did, the tears would flow.
I visited the DKos community and managed to make a few comments before succumbing to the grief once again. That effort showed me that I would have to retract into another world for a while and devote all my energy and thought to the situation.
My collegues knew that my son's life was in peril because my daughter called my wife who called my collegues to get in touch when her efforts failed. I talked to some close friends only once to let them know what was going on. Maybe it was selfish to limit the contacts with others but it was not a matter of choice for me. I had no choice any more than I can choose to breathe.
My son is 36 years old and was a stud by any measure. He was as fit as they come and as they used to say in my youth, he was considered as healthy as an ox. He rides bicycles and runs in the mountains and lifts weights. If you saw him just last month you’d be envious or in love.
Today if you saw him you’d know he just went through something so horrendous as to draw the next to the last breathe from his body. He’s so weak that he can’t lift a cup to drink without help. But he is alive and expected to recover completely and I am happy beyond belief.
If you’ve experienced the lose or near lose of a child then you know what I’ve been through. If not then I’m sure you can imagine a child not being with you but the horror of actually having to feel it come so close is unimaginable. I can’t imagine what I would be like had he not made it but I’m sure I wouldn’t be writing this.
While we were taken over by the circumstances all I could do was be by his bed when I wasn’t sleeping. It brings tears to my eyes to write this and relive it again. God, it was so difficult.
On Monday Nov 27th my son was put in the Critical Care Unit of Provena Hospital in Champaign, Illinois with streptococcus pneumonia. On the 29th he was put on a ventilator and given a paralyzing drug to save as much energy as possible as the strep completely engulfed his left lung and most of his right lung. The doctors were not encouraging but were honest in talking to us and letting us know what was happening beyond what we could see.
For the next 9 days we watched him first come perilously close to suffocating as his lungs had precious few cells to soak up the 100% oxygen at dangerously high pressures that could tear his lungs apart. Watching the oxygen saturation fall and fall as they increased pressure and concentration was as scared as I've ever been.
As he came through the crisis we then had to worry about secondary problems with his liver, an inflamed gall bladder and pancreas and fluid retention that caused him to gain nearly 50 pounds at one point. Our worry was getting rid of the strep and improving his lungs faster than the other systems would begin to fail.
He made it in some respects using the fight and determination he used to become the 4th fastest quarter-miler in Illinois as a senior in high school when he came from 12th place in a burst of speed in the last 200 yards.
But in this case he made it on the shoulders of the staff of nurses, respiratory therapists and doctors who looked after him and brought him back from the brink of death.
This is not the story of a failed health care system but of the care and caring provided by the men and woman at this hospital. Being in the room with my son and being an intimate part of the whole process I and my extended family lived through this together. My admiration and gratitude for the people who cared for him knows no bounds.
I now know them enough to know that they don’t do what they do for gratitude so that emotion seems out of place because it’s so obvious. The admiration comes from watching them do what they do in the life and death situations they have to live every day. It was easy to see their concern and efforts came not from the job but from the heart.
One nurse told my son that he was lucky to have a family like us because there was someone with him every minute of the entire ordeal. I told her he was lucky that she and the others were as good and caring as they were.
Even those who were not directly involved would call to ask about him on their days off. They are true heroes and they don't get enough credit for what they do and how much of themselves they give to saving the lives of others. I love them all and will never forget them.
At around 3pm yesterday he was moved to a regular hospital room where he will stay until he has enough strength to leave and process enough oxygen without help. I expect that to be in a few days.
Last night I slept through the night after I wrote this diary. I slept without waking to every beep and double-beep from the machines to monitor his pulse, blood pressure, respiration rate and the IVs with drug doses as they drip and run through the tubes and make their way into his veins.
My son is alive and I'm as happy as I've ever been.
Update: Sunday 10th 1:57pm
I just returned from a visit and they've just removed the oxygen support and all other monitoring. He still has the IV ports connected but they'll be removing those soon also. He says he wants to leave the hospital today. When I suggested he stay one more day he was adamant about leaving. We'll see.
Update: Sunday 10th 3:45pm
Just got back from another visit. My son wanted to go back down to the CCU to thank those on this shift who took care of him and those who wished him well. When they saw him shuffle in with his walker they broke into big smiles and applause and hugs. A couple of nurses who cared for him early on and who he surely didn't remember came up to talk. We remembered them and told him that these were some of the heroes who helped him to recover.
A woman who's husband is in with the the early stages of the same thing told me that my son's progress is an inspiration for her.
Though I certainly don't like getting my strength through something like this we are all are stronger for having experienced it. Thanks Shaking The Tree for that same sentiment.
Update: Monday 11th 10:04pm
He's out of the hospital, staying with his mother and step-dad. The doctor told him that he can't fly for another week so he'll still make it home for Christmas.
The house is a two-story and the shower is on the second floor. Taking a shower with the help of his sister to get into and out of the shower is difficult but not near as difficult as making his way up the stairs. That is a trek requiring much will-power and determination.
He ate a full dinner tonight of chicken, veggies and potatoes. The first complete meal he's eaten in over two weeks.
I'm back home now and finally getting back into my life which will never be the same again.